Time for New Year’s Resolutions

Date:

It is that time of the year once again when people all around the world go through the process of making New Year’s resolutions and we joke about how they won’t last very long. The truth is — we may joke about various resolutions, but deep in our heart, we long to change or adjust some attitudes, actions, or habits that we don’t like about ourselves.

Over the past few years – I have noticed that the french fries, greasy hamburgers, and such like have decided to hang around me…if you know what I mean.

When I was traveling 35 weeks out of the year — I burned a lot of energy…but you don’t burn as much sitting in front of a computer eating potato chips.

As 2023 approaches — I have decided that I am going to exercise. Certainly not the same way I did when I was playing college football — but I am going to do more than lift a fork to my mouth.

My kids bought me a new bike a couple of years ago. I haven’t ridden it much — so then they decided that I needed a stationary bike. That way I can’t make excuses about the elements being too hot, too cold, too wet, etc.

I did ask them to get the kind where I can hang a bag of chips on the handlebars on one side and a bag of candy on the other…OK – I’m just kidding.

I have listened to those who are believers about exercise and diets. Have you ever noticed the first three letters of the word “diet?” DIE!!!!

Here are a few questions with answers that someone sent me.

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life – is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

And remember: ‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – donut in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride’!

AND…..For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The good news is, in all seriousness, I have lost around 35 pounds in the last year and feel great! I have nine grandchildren now and would like to be around to watch them grow up.

Old friend Robert says, “Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.”

Here’s to a most blessed New Year and watching Judge Judy while riding on my indoor bike!

 

 

 

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