George Bernard Shaw once stated: “The best brought up children are those who have seen their parents as they are. Hypocrisy is not the parent’s first duty.”
Somehow, we have the idea, as parents, that if we make a mistake with ourselves or our children, that admitting our faults is classified as weakness in their eyes. That being true, then why do I hear young people say to me – “Why do my parents always think they are so perfect and right all the time?”
The truth is – young people do not want perfect parents – just honest parents. Why? Because when they fail, it isn’t as devastating to them because they have learned from parental example that life goes on and failure is a part of life; If parents project a life-style of perfection, unable to admit their mistakes, then the pressure to perform without failure becomes an unbelievable and unattainable reality for their lives.
As a parent – you must be more interested in whether or not you are involved in the process of becoming all you can be as a person and as a parent. When your children see that you are on a continuing road of growing, then this will give your young people the courage to say, “Hey, I haven’t got it made – I haven’t arrived yet, but I’m on my way.”
You see – even parents struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. A noted author said: “A positive self-image is necessary for parents as well as children. Parents get discouraged, too, and need to learn how to love and encourage each other daily. Instead of defending their “rights” when they make mistakes, they need to honestly admit their short comings and then attempt to change without reinforcing their frustrations by feeling guilty. Parents who come to grips with the development and nourishment of their personal growth needs can begin to understand how to help a child acquire a positive self-concept.”
I heard a story once about a farmer who had some puppies for sale. He made a sign advertising the pups and nailed it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was nailing the sign to the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down to see a little boy with a big grin and something in his hand.
“Mister,” he said, “I want to buy one of your puppies.”
“Well,” said the farmer, “These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal.”
The boy dropped his head for a moment, then looked back up at the farmer and said, “I’ve got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?”
“Sure,” said the farmer, and with that he whistled and called out, “Dolly. Here, Dolly.” Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy’s eyes danced with delight.
Then out from the doghouse peeked another little ball; this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid and began hobbling in an unrewarded attempt to catch up with the others. The pup was clearly the runt of the litter.
The little boy pressed his face to the fence and cried out, “I want that one,” pointing to the runt.
The farmer knelt down and said, “Son, you don’t want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you the way you would like.”
With that the boy reached down and slowly pulled up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking up at the farmer, he said, “You see, sir, I don’t run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.”
Old friend Robert said, “If you want to keep your kids on your team, you need to let them know you understand; you understand their weaknesses, struggles, and failures; you understand because you have a few yourself.”
