3rd in a series of five articles from Mother’s Day to Father’s Day
“From the fruit of their lips people are filled with good things, and the work of their hands brings them reward.
15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. 16 Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult. An honest witness tells the truth, but a false witness tells lies. 18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
– Proverbs 12:14-18
I have only a few memories of being around my great-grandfather. He was my dad’s mom’s dad. His given name was Henry but in the family he was known at ‘Grandpa Hank” … a tall slender man who some might describe as a ‘hopeless romantic’ caught writing poetry on the job more than once or twice and even found time to copyright some music he penned. I have two original songs of his and a folder of poems in his own handwriting in both pen and pencil I am transposing to chronicle his thoughts and prose.
But here’s the memory which stands out… when I was a toddler visiting my great-great Aunt Ella’s home out in the country. She was Hank’s sister-in-law and the occasion for gathering matters little now as I was only three years old at the time. You see… Aunt Ella had a row of Hawthorne bushes on the side of her home and the berries were in full form and a tempting bright red. Another cousin and I were standing there admiring the almost good enough to eat prize when Grandpa Hank appeared from around the corner waving his long, thin, Methodist finger saying clearly and firmly… “Don’t you eat those berries boy” and he was looking right at me. It was a fearful moment and perhaps even more ominous for him as I think I know now what was disguised in that memorable phrase. I think what he was feeling and thinking was… “I don’t have time to scoop up this curious little lad and take him to the ER and have his stomach pumped because when he eats these little red berries it’s likely he will experience nausea, stomach upset, dizziness, drowsiness, sweating and God knows what else and I’m trying to have a grand time with my family as the pater familias and being old and all… and this won’t be ruined by the newest male in the family…’ and instead of that what I got was “don’t you eat those berries, boy…” and I didn’t. Grandpa Hank to the rescue! God save the day with a hallelujah, too!
How many times have any of us been placed in a moment when something needed to be said and when we did… instead of the right words rising up something totally different was spoken and yet the desired result came to be. Sometimes it’s when a parent or a sibling just yells, “hey!” when the youngest of the bunch is about to embark on something dumb or unnecessary or when a parent has just been blasted with a “I hate you” line from a teenager and the only reply we can come up with is … “well, I love you and I always will”. Sometimes it is just harder to love than it is to hate… requiring patience and trust and space for the emotions to clear out and provide the desired relationship to emerge allowing for both persons to experience a certain healing so the deeper details of life can be enjoyed. Meister Eckhardt once said… “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘thank you’… that would suffice.”
Plato once wrote… “be kind… for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” How did he know? And when we add on the words of the great 20th century spiritualist, Thomas Merton… “Love is our true destiny!” … then we’re quick to realize we are either a big part of the problem or a key part of the solution where everyone’s effort is required!
And this… Memorial Day weekend in our country is the announcement of ‘summer’ and all that comes with it… a testing for younger souls you might say… where encounters with words of fools collide with words of wisdom. Be well. Live well! Faith matters. We all believe in something!
